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June 1st, 2006


New Beginnings

With every new beginning, there is the underlying feeling that a dream is developing a life of its own and is creating its own reality. At the onset of the first publication of the new San Marcos Magazine, the excitement of the newness has stirred in me the desire to communicate one of my great loves; to help people create loving relationships.

I am in the dating business working with people who want to find and keep a romantic partner for life. I am happy to contribute to this vibrant magazine and share my dream with all of you. I hope you will find my insights and support helpful in your quest to find the life mate you have been looking for. I look forward to help you create and sustain the dreams that will become your reality.

Be In Control

Many women today feel they should “go along” with the man’s speed in deciding when to be physically intimate. However, in order to achieve their dream of being in a loving, caring and supportive relationship, it is essential for women to be in charge of this important decision. Like most women of her generation, thirty-six year old Francine feels there is a lack of quality men out there. She dates about once a week and ultimately finds the men wanting to be physically intimate after only a few dates. Francine wants to be married and have children and she questions the motives of these men. This is a common issue marriage-minded women face.

Set Boundaries

When a woman learns to act accordingly with the men she dates, these men will either prove they can be in the running as the complementary partner in her life, or simply go away leaving space for better potential men to vie for her attention. If a woman looks at men’s invitation for physical intimacy as flattery rather than an annoyance, honestly and openly addressing these requests will create a much more positive outcome. A woman who does not want to have casual intimacy should say: “Thanks for the invitation, but I do not feel comfortable being casually intimate with the men I date.”

There is no need to be intimidated or give lengthy explanations. A woman simply needs to handle men’s requests for intimacy in the same manner she would when asked to participate in any other activity of no interest – like joining them in a “hot dog” eating contest. Please understand it is normal for men to want physical intimacy. And since most men have been spoiled by overly generous women in their past, many men ask for physical intimacy after merely a few dates.

It’s OK to Say “No”

Once a woman can properly decline men’s advances while staying genuinely flattered, men’s impulsive requests will no longer affect her adversely. She will also realize that she has been dating quality men all along; they just needed to be told about her boundaries in regards to uncommitted physical intimacy. Upon hearing such boundaries from a woman, a worthy man will inquire about what he needs to do in order to have the privilege to be intimate with her.

Because of the level of attachment created through the intimacy between a man and a woman, a marriage-minded woman should not get bonded to a man who hasn’t shown her by his actions that he his serious about her. If you want to be married, I suggest you postpone being intimate until at least engaged with the man who puts a ring on your finger and tells his family, friends, and the world at large that you are the woman he has committed himself to work towards a future married life with.

Just know that men are as good as women require them to be.

Fléchelle Morin is the author of the book “Kissing Or No Kissing; Whom Will You Save Your Kisses For? A Dating Guide To Creating Your Dreams.” You can send your questions by email at

For more on this subject or to learn more about Fléchelle and her dating philosophy, visit her website at

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