Magazines

March 1st, 2007

Fléchelle

Men are as good as women require them to be.

Being single for some is bliss-for others, something to be remedied. Since my work is to counsel and coach single women in the latter group, one question my clients ask me most often is, "Where can I meet men to practice these dating techniques?" Although there are many places where a woman can meet her future mate, I can assure you that your rate of success will vary on how many places you can be at once. Omnipresence-would be nice, but no. Mass marketing-yes!

Here are a few very effective methods to market yourself to the maximum number of men with a minimal investment of your time and money:

Internet Dating

Having personal profiles on many Internet dating sites is like having dozens of elves promoting you to thousands of potential mates. Your personal profile should be short and sweet with a few nice pictures of you. (Men are visual creatures and quickly want to get to the point.) Omit any information that may indicate where you live or work. Write about what makes your soul soar and what makes you feel good instead of how well you perform in life. This will appeal to "real men" who want to perform and provide for their family while thriving to make their women happy.

An effective personal profile can garner dozens even hundreds of "hits" from men wanting to meet you. Granted, you will have to view their profiles and select the ones you pre-qualify over the phone for a potential date. If all goes well, I teach my clients to meet their dates at public places such as restaurants or museums. Strolling on a secluded beach or going hiking on a blind date is not a good idea.

Do this process correctly and you will have more dates than you could think humanly possible.

Date by The Minutes

These are pre-arranged speed dating parties where men and women sit and talk with each other for a few minutes before moving on to their next potential date. Most women tend to ask questions and try to know the most about the man sitting in front of them. This is the wrong approach and he will hear something like, "Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah…" Then his few minutes will be over and he will want to move to the next woman as quickly as possible in order to recover from you.

Since you want to draw the man's attention towards you, your job is to attract-not attack. The best thing is to sit silently and smile at the gentleman who sits in front of you allowing him to speak first. Give him the time to compose himself now that he is in the presence of your mysterious beauty. Answer the questions asked with as much integrity as possible. If you are marriage-minded and he asks what you are looking for in a mate, tell him you are looking for a man worthy to be your husband and to create a family together. (Don't worry, this response only turns off the men you don't want to waste your time with anyway.) Be receptive and warm. Don't bombard him with tales of how wonderful you are. As a feminine woman, you only have to feel your feelings and not try to sell yourself.

At the conclusion of the event, it is important to choose every man you met that evening as a potential date. The only men you leave off the list are those you did not feel good about in regards to safety.

Dating Agencies

Many dating agencies do not charge women a fee. However, the selection will be made from the gent's wish list. An agency's female "guest" has little or no say on what they are looking for in a man. It is best to pay the fee and become a client rather than being their guest to be introduced to their male clients.

Before you sign up with any of these agencies, read the small print to ensure they cater to the type of men you are looking for. Ask for referrals and if possible, to speak with some of their active female clients to have a better understanding on how this agency operates. Be as discriminating in regards to safety with these men as you would with the Internet dating sites men; after all, they are complete strangers as well.

Everyday Life

You would be surprised by how many men you meet (or could have met) in your daily life. The casual contacts at the grocery store, post office, bookstore or even just walking through a shopping mall are all places where you can meet your future mate. And if you spot a man who looks interesting to you-flirt! Of course, flirting in this respect means to make eye contact with him and smile while maintaining an approachable and friendly demeanor.

You never know where your perfect life companion will find you. If you're a marriage- minded woman, always be aware of interesting men around you and dedicate yourself to be the woman a real man wants.

Remember, men are as good as women require them to be.

Fléchelle Morin, relationship & dating specialist and motivational speaker, is the author of the book "Kissing Or No Kissing; Whom Will You Save Your Kisses For? A Dating Guide To Creating Your Dreams." You can send your questions or comments by email at flechelle@nokissing.com.

For more on this subject or to learn more about Fléchelle and her dating philosophy, visit her website at www.nokissing.com