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Magazines
September 1st, 2007
Fléchelle
Of Males And Men
"A man loses his
sense of direction after four drinks; a woman loses
hers after four kisses." Henry Louis Mencken
In my last article, I explained the reasons and the
advantages of being on my "No Kissing Plan" while being
on your quest to find a husband. In a previous article,
I brought to light the bonding effects the release of
oxytocin has on a woman's brain through the action of
kissing and how it affect her choices in regards to
her mate's selection. Now that you have these scientific
facts, let us go over how you can win at the game of
dating to marriage while protecting yourself from falling
under the spell of oxytocin bonding.
Since you are a woman, a lovely creature to which
men are attracted to, it won't be long for you to have
the chance to put into practice what you will learn
here today. Men's desire to kiss you is natural. The
sound of your voice, the sight of your face, the subtle
release of your female pheromones will have men want
to be near you. Like an itch that needs to get scratched,
men's desire to touch you, kiss you, and make you theirs
is very powerful and will give them the stamina to pursue
you and win you over. Favorably, men are designed to
withstand your refusal to casual intimacy without any
long-lasting damage.
Knowing all this, why would a woman be afraid to curb
the advances of an eager man to act upon his natural
instinct to reproduce? Instinctively, women know that
they are the prize to a man's pursuit, so why would
women fall under men's pressures to give up their precious
self in order to "maybe" secure a relationship with
a man?
Unfortunately, human beings are the only animals that
will knowingly go against nature to do what they know
they should not do, and because society tells women
they need to "put out" in order to get a man in their
life. This roundabout way of thinking does not insure
that a woman will be in a relationship with a man who
will love her, protect her, provide for her and cherish
her. Society says that any man is better than no man
at all. Do not settle for less. Aim for the best and
the best you shall get.
Men are built to pursue and hunt long and hard before
getting their prey. Giving yourself to men too soon
will turn them into the whining and spoiled little boys
you say you are tired of meeting and ultimately end
up with. Here's the antidote to the little boy syndrome.
Give men the chance to be men and do what they are meant
to do. Upon hearing of your unwillingness to partake
into casual intimacy, little whiny boys will fall off
the side of the road leaving the real masculine men
you want to be with in the running. Do not fool yourself,
the men who will make you feel bad for not giving into
their whims are plainly males; the men who will honor
you instead of taking from you are men. Please do not
confound males with men-easy to do in this day and age,
hence why keeping your head clear from the effect of
oxytocin is of the utmost importance.
How do you tell a man that you are not casual in your
relationships with any man because you are looking for
an everlasting mate, a husband who will look in the
same life direction than you? Easy if you are convinced
that it is really what you are looking for. If this
is your true desire, then telling men "no" to casual
intimacy will be a natural extension of yourself and
will be very easy for you to do.
First, practice in front of a mirror by repeating
these words: "John, I am so flattered that you are attracted
to me enough to want to kiss me. Although I am also
attracted to you, I have decided that I will not be
casual in my relationships with men. I am looking for
a husband and do not feel comfortable kissing a man
I am not promised to. I hope you understand my feelings…"
This is all you have to say and repeat if not understood
the first time around. Men are very smart and they know
that if a woman kisses them she is theirs. Men (not
males) will be charmed by your conviction to protect
yourself until you find the man that will truly make
you his and take all the responsibilities such an act
entails. Males will be horror-struck by your inner strength
and will go away. Good riddance!
I want for you to know that even real men sometimes
will rebuff your female stance. Do not worry about this;
it is just that men have been spoiled to get the goods
too easy too soon. Even if a man you really like does
not call you back after hearing of your needs to be
honored in a relationship, know that if he is worth
your beautiful, strong and smart self, he will be back.
If he doesn't, someone else will. Let the best man win!
Take good care of your self and remember that men
are as good as women require them to be.
Fléchelle Morin, relationship & dating specialist
and motivational speaker, is the author of the book
"Kissing Or No Kissing; Whom Will You Save Your Kisses
For? A Dating Guide To Creating Your Dreams." You can
send your questions or comments by email at flechelle@nokissing.com.
For more on this subject or to learn more about Fléchelle
and her dating philosophy, visit her website at www.nokissing.com.
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